knitters = angry mob

Knitted skinny pants?

Surely you jest.

Reason #12 is so that I can mock others soundly. I feel that the people who read this blog are Stylish Knitters, in that we knit Things Worth Wearing and also Knitted Items That Are Nice Or At Least Humorous On Purpose (to be known as TWW, and KITANOALHOP, respectively). So when I see something knitted that is not in the KITANOALHOP category (just rolls of your tongue, doesn’t it?), then I feel like my ability to discern Good Knitting from Bad Knitting allows me to mock Bad Knitting with impunity.

(And sometimes I see these things not online, but in fashion magazines, and I think to the knitter, who of course can not hear me, “Knitter,” I say, “Just because you have 3000 yards of super extra jumbo bulky chartreuse wool and size 29 needles, does not mean you should knit a sweater with three arm holes and pockets. Tsk, tsk.”)